


If I Catch Fire, Then I'll Change My Aim

by Waterlogged_Kazoo



Category: One Piece
Genre: Akuma no Mi | Devil Fruit, Alive Sabo (One Piece), Angst, Cuddling & Snuggling, Dead Portgas D. Ace, F/M, Flashbacks, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, Mera Mera no Mi | Flame-Flame Fruit, Nonbinary Character, POV Sabo (One Piece), Panic Attacks, Post-Dressrosa, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, The Revolutionary Army (One Piece)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-12
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-18 22:49:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29990019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Waterlogged_Kazoo/pseuds/Waterlogged_Kazoo
Summary: The Flame Flame Fruit is a double-edged sword, in Sabo's case.
Relationships: Koala & Sabo (One Piece), Koala/Sabo (One Piece), Portgas D. Ace & Sabo
Kudos: 10





	If I Catch Fire, Then I'll Change My Aim

**Author's Note:**

> Title is a lyric from the song Burning Pile by Mother Mother :)

The air was hot and humid, and the blistering heat caused the odd rock formations of Baltigo to glimmer slightly at certain angles. But, despite the oppressing weather, the young members of the Revolutionary Army trained with their usual determination.

Sabo, Koala, and Hack had just recently returned from the grueling battle of Dressrosa, and after extensive scolding from Ivankov and Dragon for Sabo's impulsive consumption of the Flame-Flame fruit, they had been ordered to figure out some proper attacks for the new ability. Sabo had hesitantly agreed, considering his success with the fruit so far had been mostly thanks to adrenaline and impulse.

Sabo peeled off his t-shirt and dumped some of the cool liquid from his water bottle over his head. He glanced over at Koala as she stretched in preparation for the sparring match, admiring how her cropped workout top highlighted the fishman-karate master's tight abs and deadly biceps. Sabo peaked down at his own body. He still had strong muscle rippling under his burn-scar littered skin, though he had always been more lean than his partner. His eyes lingered on the scars, old and and faded in colour, but still jarring in texture and shear amount. 

The memory of how he had been burned had been dulled along with the first ten years of his life, and even as he began regaining his memories two years ago, it had taken a while to return to him. But once he had seen the flames dancing across his skin in Dressrosa, it had fully hit him, though he hadn't any time to give thought to it considering the intense circumstances. 

The blonde man felt a wave of anxiety rise in his throat. Was he really about to fight using the thing that had torn him away from his family for so long? 

"Oi, Sabo, head out of the clouds!"

Sabo started slightly at Koala's call. Time to start practicing. He swallowed down the feeling of worry and turned toward his partner. "Alright, let's go."

Koala nodded with a smirk, and lunged towards him. Sabo leaped back, and launched himself forward, attempting to get an axe-kick in on the ginger woman's shoulder, but landed with a slight stumble when she dodged gracefully to the side. She gave a swing towards his head, and Sabo ducked down, striking out at the back of Koala's knees. He gave a slight grumble of irritation as she slipped out of his range with a quick back flip.

Hack, who was watching the match (armed with a large bucket of water in case of any Devilfruit-related mishaps), bounced his leg with impatience. "Come on Sabo, you ate the damn fruit, may as well actually use it."

Sabo shouted "Yep!" With his usual indignant energy, though the strange bubbling of fear still sat stubbornly in his chest. What was wrong with him?

Koala stood up from where she had been crouching a moment before, and made a cheeky 'come at me' gesture, her smirk still everpresent. "Don't worry Sabo, I'm not afraid of a little burning."

The blonde man cringed at the thought. The image of Koala being burned by the fruit's fire…. 

In his hesitation, Koala leaped toward Sabo with a playful battle cry, her hand clenched in a strong fist. As she descended on him, time seemed to slow. 

Sabo made his own fist, and reached deeply into his mind to activate the ability of the Flame Flame Fruit, waiting for the warm feeling of strength that would surge through him as his body became intangible tongues of fire. 

Instead of the tell-tale warmth, Sabo found… dread. A clawing, swarming fear that sloshed through his entire consciousness. 

***

He was 10 years old again, escaping from that suffocating bird cage of a city on that tiny fishing boat…. The Celestial Dragons' ship nearing… the angry growl of a torpedo gun as it was fired...

***

With a sound of confusion, Koala noticed her partner's second hesitation a moment too late. Unable to stop her own momentum, she slammed into him, sending the two of them sprawling backwards on the sun-heated ground. 

Hack's shout of concern didn't register in Sabo's mind. 

***

All he could feel was the impact, the wind knocked out of his chest as the explosive hit his little boat and set it aflame. 

Sabo wailed. The flames tore through the wood and clung to his clothes, stroking across his skin with merciless fury. 

The smell of his own burning flesh hit him, but he could only wheeze and sob as the stabbing smoke swarmed his mouth and nose. 

The boat collapsed under his small feet and he tumbled into the sea, a whole new wave of agony hitting him as the saltwater soaked into his angry wounds…

***

A voice echoed through the air around him. It sounded like his partner's panicked shout, but it felt muffled, as though Sabo really were sinking slowly into the ocean.

"Shit! Hack, go find Iva!"

"Koala, let me take him-"

"No, we can't move him. Now GO."

Sabo slowly became aware of his own body again, though everything felt groggy and out of place, like his body was disconnected from him. It felt like shocks of electricity were shooting through his head. He was curled in the fetal position, his hands grabbing tightly at his hair. His breath was painfully frantic, his chest aching as he gasped for air. Tears stung his skin as they poured relentlessly down his cheeks. 

He was aware of Koala crouched beside him, a pained look on her face. She was calm and solid, a lifeline as he fell to pieces. She shifted closer and wrapped her strong arms tightly around Sabo, and he sunk gratefully into her grasp. She gently pried his white-knuckled hands away from his disheveled hair, and guided him to grip her hand tightly instead. Koala began running her other hand slowly up and down his bare back as he continued to shudder and gasp. In a hushed, soft tone, she uttered small reassurances. "Shhhh.... You're okay. I'm here, I've got you, you're safe…"

The two partners remained huddled tightly together, Koala's whispers and Sabo's panicked breaths the only sounds to be heard.

A few minutes later, Koala raised her head, the sound of two pairs of feet on the stony ground alerting her to Hack's return with Ivankov. Iva was currently in their feminine form, their normally smiling lips pursed tightly in concern. They crouched down beside Sabo and Koala, and began asking Koala quick questions in an uncharacteristically hushed voice. Sabo's breath had finally begun to slow, but he was too exhausted to absorb what the two were saying, but he groggily processed the words "fire", "trigger", and "panic attack" being mentioned several times.

Eventually, Koala scooped up Sabo bridal style as gently as she could, and began the walk back to the main building, Iva and Hack by her side. Sabo rested his head against his partner's chest and finally succumbed to the siren call of unconsciousness, the agonizing panic having snatched away every bit of energy he had.

…

Sabo awoke hours later to find himself curled tightly around himself in his own bed, in the room he shared with Koala. He shifted slightly, wincing at the stiffness in his body and the pounding throb of his head. He was still shirtless, and his hair felt damp with sweat.

"Hey."

The voice startled Sabo ever so slightly, but he immediately relaxed when he looked up to see his partner sitting on her own bed on the other side of the room. "Hey, Koala." His voice crackled as he spoke, his throat dry and sore.

An empty silence befell the small room. Unable to stand it, the ginger woman stood, shuffled over, and plopped herself down on the bed, and wrapped her partner in a tight embrace. "You're all sweaty and gross."

The jab earned a small chuckle from Sabo, as he gratefully received the hug. 

Koala began to run her hands through Sabo's hair. He felt a tightness rise in his throat, and let out a shuddering breath, and his partner gripped him tighter. 

"I don't know what the hell's wrong with me, Ko."

"Shhhh, don't stress yourself out again. You need to let yourself relax."

"But when we were sparing… I tried to use the Flame Flame Fruit, but… I just… I saw when I got burned. I already remembered it but… It was like I could feel it. It hurt. It hurt so much, Koala."

Sabo tried to resist the tears that threatened to spill over again. He felt so ashamed. So ashamed of making his partner deal with whatever the hell was going on with him. So ashamed that she had to see him this way.

"I know, love..." Koala said softly. "We were talking with Iva, their thought is that it's a delayed trauma response. The thought of the fire set you off, and you ended up dissociated and panicked. Since you only just got your memories back, you're only now feeling the effects of that experience. I think."

The blonde man buried his face in Koala's shoulder and sighed in defeat.

"Thank you for helping me. I'm sorry you had to see that."

Koala pulled away from the hug to look her partner in the face. "Hey hey hey hey, no apologising! It's not your fault. I'm just glad it happened while we were there to help you, instead of you being on your own."

Sabo gave a tiny smile at how Koala's bottom lip stuck out slightly. She was so cute when she was scolding.

He flopped back down on his back, and Koala laid down at his side. He shifted into his side so he could face her. 

"What the hell am I going to do… I finally got a piece of Ace back, and I'm too scared to use it."

Koala gripped his hand, interlacing his fingers with her own. 

"We'll figure something out. It won't be like this forever, Sabo. It's your fire, and it's Ace's fire, and it's part of you. We'll work hard and train and get through this together. Ace wouldn't want to see you give up, would he?"

Sabo wrapped his other hand around the ginger woman and pulled her closer. 

"Thank you, Koala."

He was scared as hell, but he knew that with his partner at his side, he'd make it through. For Ace.


End file.
